When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas.
A sign of the times ...
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
And some more signs:
- Toy Store: Ho, ho, ho spoken here
- Bridal boutique: Marry Christmas
- Outside a church: The original Christmas Club
- At a department store: Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd
To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound ... At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame instantaneously.
Q. Why is Christmas just like a day at work?
A. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Q. What if it had been three Wise Women instead of three Wise Men?
A. They would have asked directions, arrived on time, helped deliver the baby, cleaned the stable, made a casserole and brought practical gifts.
Q. Why do we wish people a "Merry Christmas" instead of a "Happy Christmas"?
A. The two are about the same, but with "Merry Christmas" there's an extra twinkle in the eye!